You people are lucky I have such a compulsion to write or I would get out of this room. My dad ate crab for dinner and the smell is making me sick. I'm stealing wireless from somewhere and the only place I can get reception is if I sit near my dad. I've tried every other room in the house and it's a no-go. So how long will this entry be? Long enough to make me puke, I'm afraid.

My sister is dropping her two oldest kids off tomorrow and we will have them until Monday morning. I don't understand why she is driving her husband to Arizona and then flying back here. Their reasoning: he doesn't have a DL and will be arrested if he's caught driving. My reasoning: Then why does he need a truck at all? I will never understand those people. I must be missing a vital piece of information. I have no idea. All I know is, my niece and nephew and I are going to go round and round.

Braxton turned five on Tuesday and is really feeling his oats. He directly defied me today, running in middle of the road just to prove he could. He's lucky I controlled myself. I felt like beating his butt. He's so big and strong he could probably take me down if he really wanted to because he wouldn't pull his punches. He's started hitting and kicking my sister. She's in for big problems in the future, methinks.

Most fun moment of the day: explaining the difference between a yeast infection and a bladder infection to my mother. Apparently I didn't dodge the bullet when I was taking the antibiotics. I thought I was fine since it's been about 3 weeks since I discontinued them. ARGH! It was just unfortunate that she noticed the yogurt and had to keep asking questions about it since she knows I don't eat yogurt. I think she regretted her persistance in the end. Mwhahahaha. My mother and I don't talk about such things. I was probably beet red.

I am so sick of my family being sick! Erik was up all night with a fever and a cough. At 4:30 am he decided he was done being in bed and started running around the house naked. I had to be a responsible mother and clothe him as best I could considering it was 40 degrees outside and every door and window in the house was open. Burglars, don't come here. We have three dogs that will bark at you and one that will bite you.

It never got above 60 today. No one would let me turn the heat on because it's July. I'm freezing my ass off.

Anyway, Erik is sick.

I took him into a walk-in clinic and waited forever (probably only 45 minutes, but it felt like forever) and finally got a diagnosis. He has tonsillitis caused by a virus so there's nothing they can do. The doctor did write a prescription for his horrible cough and I was really excited! Our home peds will never write a prescription for cough syrup. They say he is too young. It did worry me a little bit, but I figured she was a doctor. She wouldn't be giving Robitussin with codeine to a little kid if it wasn't safe.

Wrong!

When I went to pick up the meds the pharmacist wouldn't release it. She said the dosage wouldn't be appropriate for a six year old, much less a 34 pound three year old. She was going to call the doctor and try to get something else prescribed, but I didn't pursue it. Erik seemed a lot better this afternoon. I may go back up there and see what they say tomorrow if Erik has another bad night. I am a little leery of giving him anything no.

I've been cranky all day thanks to very little sleep so it was a very good thing I didn't have to deal with my sister or grandma today. My sister is living in a little cow town about 30 minutes south of here so we aren't seeing her as much as before. Hallelujah! Every time I come here I swear I am never coming back, but then I feel bad about Erik not knowing his family. He loves his cousins and his Peepaw and Granny and I hate the thought of them not knowing him at all. Plus, I am hoping that he will see what life is like for alcoholics and drug addicts and it will scare him straight when he's a teenager. It is definitely not glamorous.

I left Erik with my mom while I went to the pharmacy, fabric store and book store. The poor kid was exhausted and having a huge fit because I left. He ran into the house, sat in the glider with his head in the butt position and his butt up in the air, and fell asleep. Silly boy.

Ok, I have to say this even though I don't want to. My parents have been watching the Michael Jackson coverage non-stop--mainly because they have the TV on all the time and it's the only thing you can watch these days. I was an average fan and don't know much about him--whether he was a sexual predator or just a man-boy. It was just a really weird feeling to finally see his children after all these years. I'd always thought it was so strange that he made them wear masks, but now that they've been revealed I think I understand that he wasn't wacky for that. He was just trying to protect them. I think other celebs could take a page from his book and protect their children a little better.

But what the hell does it mean that the one doctor guy isn't the father of the children "to the best of his knowledge?" Either you were banging Debbie Rowe or you weren't. Either you were the sperm donor or you weren't. Did he just leave his sperm in a petri dish for people to find if they wanted it?

Boy howdy, has it been a long day. Between my grandma, my sister and my son, I'm completely worn out.

My grandma had her pre-op appointment today. My mom couldn't get out of work, so I took her and supervised the whole thing. I'm really glad I was able to go, even if it was really frustrating. She is an adult and capable of making her own decisions. She still lives on her own without much trouble. She deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Yet. Oh dear. She is so confused sometimes.

The nurse was just trying to find out some information about her last blood draw and she started talking about her doctor who died when I was 12. It's been a couple of years. I was able to redirect her several times, but not before she bad mouthed her current doctor to everyone who would listen. She hates her current doctor for one simple reason: she's a woman. That's it. End of story. And how long has she had this current doctor? Since her last doctor died. When I was 12. Why doesn't she change doctors? She goes to a clinic and refuses to leave that particular clinic. They have a policy that doctors in the clinic can't poach patients. So she's stuck with a doctor who "does her dirty" every chance she gets.

As we were going over the health questions I had to interject a few times. "Have you ever had a heart attack?" "Oh no! My heart is great!" "Ummmm. Grandma? What about that one heart attack you had a few years ago?" She had no clue what I was talking about, nor did she remember the month she spent in the hospital/nursing home a couple of years ago.

By the time that was over, we were starved but I was really worried about Erik. He was with my sister and her babysitter person (still trying to figure that out. This girl lives with them and her payment for services rendered was a trip to Six Flags.). I came in the house and my sister was here but my son wasn't. He was at the park. With no shoes!

I was one royally pissed off mama. You don't have a kid ride a trike to the park with no shoes on.

Finally got him settled, which took forever because he was starving, and went to get a take 'n bake pizza from Papa Murphy's. Got to my grandmas and tried to get it in the oven but she did something weird with it and it never came on. Then she finally got it started, but apparently put it on broil, so the pizza came out black. It was all my fault, of course. Why? Because I was there.

While waiting for the pizza to burn to a crisp, I was supposed to go over all her pills with her and report back about the times she took each pill. It took forever to figure that out because she was really nervous and confused and didn't want to listen to anything I said. She also didn't think it was necessary to call the nurse about the pills because she'd already figured out what pills she would take the day of the surgery, medical opinions be damned. She knows best, of course.

When we finally got home, my sister was here planning her son's birthday party. It was supposed to be a small family party. Around 3 pm she started going around collecting people. By 4 there were probably 20 kids here and a few adults. She was freaking out because my mom wasn't here yet with the cake. You can bet your sweet britches my mom was PISSED when she got home and found a huge party going on. She'd ordered a cake for a family party, not every person my sister could find on the corner.

And did the kids even enjoy the party? The birthday boy certainly didn't. He's very shy and not very social. Some days I want to punch my sister in the face. With a knife.

It didn't even get up to 70 today and she opened up the pool. I didn't realize she'd done so, so I was sitting in the living room when I happened to glance outside and see Erik standing on top of the ladder with no life jacket or anything. Where was the babysitter? Where was my sister? No where to be seen. If I'd known the fucking ladder was in the pool I would have been outside! I was beyond pissed.

It was all just crazy.

Most of the kids were little brats. Erik doesn't really know how to deal with little brats. He also needed more real food instead of snowcones, pinata candy and cupcakes. Then the bitchy little babysitter took away the bat Erik was walking around with for no discernable reason. I've already noticed she's a control freak who likes to tell the kids what to do. She's only 14 and doesn't have any maternal judgement or maturity. Why did she take the bat? WHY? Erik had a total meltdown.

And now my dad is trying to get me to fill his beer cooler for the night. The world might end if his cooler is empty. I don't enable alcoholics.

I hope I get a good night's sleep tonight (fat chance, on the most uncomfortable bed in the history of the world with the scratchiest sheets Wal-Mart has to offer). I don't want to go nuts and start killing people tomorrow. How am I going to survive another 13 days?

Our first two days here were almost boring. My sister and her crew were down at Six Flags so it was just us, the 'rents and the drunken neighbors. Two of the drunken neighbors apparently had sex while the rest of us were sleeping, which has led to other drunken neighbors being pissed and lots of lewd jokes, but doesn't make me crazy.

My sister showed up today and that makes me crazy. She and her kids come in like a whirlwind and proceed to act like a plague of locusts, eating and destroying everything in their path. My sister has collected a 14 year old babysitter along the way, so now she really thinks she can just dump the kids off because the babysitter is here to take care of them. But who is supposed to take care of the babysitter?

The babysitter is a nice girl, but she's 14 and my sister has a baby and two preschoolers. Is this girl even getting paid? I don't know the story and couldn't get it out of anyone. It's all very strange.

My sister is taking another English class at the community college so thought I should help her with her paper. She acted shocked when I pointed out all the obviously plagiarized paragraphs and told her she was going to get in major trouble if she didn't cite her sources and figure out how to paraphrase. And that was just the tip of the iceberg. She was also using quotes she got from an Arby's worker, but she didn't get his name. The subject? Why spanking is necessary. I'm thinking the Arby's worker may not be the best source of information.

Other than that, the craziness hasn't started in earnest. I'm still mildly relaxed and easy going. By next Tuesday I will be throwing things and threatening to hit people with my dad's cane.

It only got up to 70 today, so I've been freezing my butt off. I didn't bring a single pair of long pants or a long sleeved shirt. I tried to lay out in the sun, but the wind was so cold I couldn't stay out for more than three minutes. The kids all wanted to swim, but even the little Oregon kids could only stand it for about a half hour. Erik wouldn't even get in after he felt the water. Smart boy!

He's having a good time playing with Braxton, so that makes me happy. He'd been getting a little grumpy because he wanted to play with Lulu, my mom's 12 year old little mutt dog. Twelve year old little mutt dogs don't want to play with three year olds so it's been a little dicey. "But Lulu loves me and is so happy to see me!" Then she would growl at him.

And that's all she wrote. I'm just about exhausted. My hometown is at an elevation of 4,200 feet. If you grow up here or live here long term you start to produce extra red blood cells to compensate for the lack of oxygen. I haven't lived here in years and it seems my red blood cells have finally decided I'm no longer a native. Every time I come here I get light headed, but then I always forget and think I'm just tired. Well. No. I've been light headed since I've been here. I'm pretty sure it's the thin air.

Plus, it is super dry, so Erik and I are both sporting bright red lips and super dry feet. My mom wants me to get my hair cut while I'm here and I probably will since it is so much cheaper, but my hair behaves totally differently in the humidity of Maryland so the haircuts here are always something of a mystery. How will they behave when I get home? Honestly, it can't be any worse than my last expensive Maryland haircut. That girl did a major chop job. Ugh.

Did I mention my grandma is having surgery next week? It was something of a surprise. She only told us about it last week. Years ago she had all the cholesterol stripped out of her leg veins. Two surgeries, two near death experiences. Her neck arteries are 80% blocked but the surgeon refused to clear them out, saying it was much too dangerous. He retired and her new doctor is ready to put her under the knife. We are all pretty stressed out about it, but she thinks it is going to be super easy and solve all her woes. She knows she can't remember things and does crazy stuff so she's convinced if she just has this surgery her brain will start operating better. My mom is convinced she's going to die. I'm scared for her, but can't imagine life without her so am not as worried as I should be.

Here's an example of her craziness:

We're having a conversation about going out to lunch.

Me: "Well, I have Erik here and don't have a car seat for him."
Her: "WHAT????? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU HAVE ERIK?!?"
Me: "Ummmm. He's here. With me. This is Carrie." (My mom, sister and myself all sound exactly alike on the phone)
Her: "I know who you are! Why do you have Erik? How did you get him?"
Me: "He's my son." *thinking, I'm not going to be explaining the mechanics of how I got him."
Her: "WHAT? WHO IS YOUR SON?"
Me: "Erik. Erik is my son. That's I can't just leave him here."
Her: "What? He's Lexie's baby!"
Me: "Uhhhhh. No, that would be Rowan. He's not here."
Her: "Oh. Well I'm just a little confused. Just come over here and we'll worry about a car seat later."
Me: ". . . "

So yeah. Maybe you had to be there. It was a scary conversation.

Erik and I made it to Oregon. I'm so tired I'm dizzy and feel like I could faint any second. Yes, I should go to bed. But it is still broad daylight out so it's a little hard to just up and go to bed. Plus Erik is burning through a second wind. I need to get him adjusted as soon as possible, so we'll stay up a little later. Did I mention we got up at 4 this morning? And our bodies think it is past 10 pm? How is the child still going? He slept on the hour flight but didn't even yawn on the six hour flight.

Instead, he dumped a bottle of water in our seatmate's crotch. The guy was pissed and I don't blame him. I felt terrible, but there was nothing much I could do other than hand him napkins and apologize.

I spoke Swedish to some people in San Fransisco. They were speaking Swedish and playing next to us at the kid's area so I did that chatty American thing. They were a little taken aback but the woman was pretty friendly. The kids didn't speak English so I said a few things in Swedish to them and they looked at me like I'd grown a third head. Fun times!

I'm stealing wireless internet from the neighbors. I brought my laptop with the hopes Erik could watch a movie. He did, but it was really not worth the hassle.

Also, I am pissed at my new camera. It came with a battery recharger and extra batteries. I charged up the batteries and found out they are good for 10 pictures each. Well shit. Why did I get this fucking camera? It was supposed to solve my problems but it didn't. I'd like to return it but it's a little late now. Boo-hoo.

At least Erik is having fun so far. He put on quite a show on the little puddle jumper plane, asking why the flight attendent had a seat belt in her hand and then wanting to know how the oxygen mask worked.

Guess that's all need to know about. I think I'm going to bed even if it is still light outside.

I have a great idea for a quilt project, but am not sure if I will ever be able to find the colors I need. As I've mentioned before Mike and I use the European bedding method. We each have our own twin sized duvet. In the summer it is so danged hot that we don't want the duvet in the duvet cover, so we just sleep with the sheet/duvet cover. But then in middle of the night it gets a little chilly so we have somehow ended up with two ugly quilts on our bed. Both quilts were gifts from my grandmother that she bought on clearance sale for our wedding. They don't match at all--each other or the room. I have a beautiful king sized quilt that fits the bed and looks lovely, but we are unable and unwilling to share a big blanket. I'm a cover hog. When I hog the covers Mike becomes a bed hog. When he hogs the bed I get grumpy. Thus our two ugly quilt solution.

New solution: I make two matching twin sized quilts that I love! Then our bed will be pretty and match our beachy room and I will get to make quilts and everyone will be happy. Alternately, I may search out two twin sized quilts that would match our room since that would probably end up being cheaper and would be a more immediate solution. But finding something to match my taste? May be well nigh impossible.

I saw THIS the other day and sort of fell in love. I'd like to do something similar with slightly different colors. I need to start measuring and planning and finding fabrics. As if I ever get to go fabric shopping. Ha! You can't take a three year old to a fabric store and expect happiness. It's just not worth the trouble.

In other news, my neighbor brought me a batch of chicken curry today. Wasn't that sweet? Or hot. Very, very hot. It sort of burned my tongue off. But still! Who brings their neighbor food in this day and age?

My house was even presentable when she showed up because I was supposed to host a MOMS club thing, but then no one showed. I was not disappointed. It meant I got to go to BodyPump for the last time in a month. I am almost back up to the weights I was doing before the plague. I wish I could find a class in Oregon, but I know I won't have time to go to something like that anyway.

I'm sure I had something else to post about, but my mind is blank. We're watching Arrested Development. We've only been watching the first season DVDs for over a year. We like it. I don't know why we don't watch it more often.

For years and years and years I've had a weird rash on my hand. It started when I got my first job at a little restaurant. I remember it clearly because it would burn like hell when I had to chop tomatoes. It was a Mexican restaurant, so I had to chop a lot of tomatoes. The bosses didn't believe in things like pre-packaged vegetables and they didn't have any nifty tool to chop tomatoes.

I was 16 at the time, so that makes how many years? Nineteen?

So for the past 19 years I've been treating this rash with a variety of prescription and non-prescription creams. One doctor told me it was eczema but I never really believed that. No other doctor ever gave me a name for it. My mom and sister have both been battling the same rash and no one has ever been able to give them successful treatment either.

Do you remember when my friends from Ireland visited? Shaun is a pharmacist. I showed Shaun my hand, since I'm sure he loves looking at stubborn, scaly, dripping rashes, and he diagnosed me with a fungal infection in about 0.5 seconds.

The only anti-fungal I had sitting around was not exactly a hand cream, but the very second I applied it to the rash it calmed down. I've been faithfully using it for the past several weeks and to my amazement and delight the rash is G-O-N-E. A few days ago some new bumps appeared and I growled. I happened to be cleaning the mildew from my shower with a mix of white vinegar and water and spilled some on my hand.

It instantly killed the little dots.

My god, people! I've been a victim of mildew poisoning for the past 19 years!

I never, ever, in a million years would have dreamed of putting anti-fungal cream on the rash. Nor would I have thought vinegar would have done a speck of good. It burned like hell and I expected it to make things worse, but it was the ultimate cure!

You have no idea how exciting it is to get rid of this horrid rash. I'll share the secret with my mom and sister when I'm in Oregon and see if they are also mildew victims.

And yes, I know it is probably not actually mildew, but that's a lot funnier. I'm all about the funny.

By the way, does anyone read Gene Weingarten's humor column? We've been getting the Sunday Post, so I've been reading him. He's not all that funny, but I'm a reader and must read anything that finds its way under my nose. I can't believe the article they printed last week. It was worse than my most rambling blog posts. It was just Gene saying his editor didn't like his first article so he was going to write an article in 10 minutes. Then he wrote an article in ten minutes that had no purpose, theme or plot. Blog rambling. Not even good blog rambling. It offends me that we pay good money to the Washington Post when I should be able to get that shit for free in my Google Reader. Heck, I probably could get it for free in my Google Reader, but why would I want to? My Google Reader is reserved for people I actually enjoy reading.

I tried to be strong. I really did. The latest Koontz book has been out for two or three weeks and I've not sought it out. Instead, I put it on hold at the library and was content to wait a few months for my turn to read.

Then yesterday I got a bug up my butt and suddenly the book is in my possession and I'm enjoying it immensely. As long as the whole thing doesn't turn out to be the devil causing an alien invasion we'll be ok.

I also let Erik pick out a book. The child went for a classic--I'll Love You Forever--because it had a toilet on the cover. Oh man. I never should have let him get it. I read it tonight and was crying by page 8. I was a mess by the end, but at least Erik didn't seem to notice. He just wanted to talk about the toilet.

Tangent: Why would anyone eat Cool-whip when real whipped cream is readily available?

Back on topic: Oh yeah. I'm done with that topic.

We had preschool today and it was fun for a change. We did a camp out in a tent, then went on a hike by a creek. We finished with fake s'mores. Some person decided it would be less messy if we didn't use chocolate. What is a s'more without chocolate, I ask you? Just a roasted marshmallow! Granted, roasted marshmallows are tasty but when you want a s'more you want a damned s'more.

I've got to stop resisting temptation. I've been on a sugar kick ever since I started my pneumonia recovery. The more I eat the more I want. Must. Stop. Must. Stop. Maybe I need to get my jaw wired shut, but then I would just drink milkshakes.

In better health news, we harvested our first vegetable tonight! Yellow squash! I made fajitas for dinner with steak, red peppers and yellow squash. Odd combo, but it worked. I wasn't really planning on harvesting it just yet but something totally ate one of the smaller squash so I decided I better pick it before nature claimed it as it's own.

Great. Now I have to beat Mike with a rubber hose. He left the TV on one of those Save the Children sob story commercials before he went to bed. Why does he want to make me cry?

Ok, now Ghostbusters is back on. I can't believe I saw this in the theatre when I was 10 years old. And now I really want s'mores. Stay Puft is being roasted as we speak (or I type, whatever). Will they or won't they cross the streams?

Btw, thanks for all the sunscreen advice. My eyes are so sensitive that I'm going to take the hat advice. My head gets hot, so I'll use a visor instead. How could I have forgotten my cute little visor that I wore all last summer? I have no idea where it is, but it would be worth investing in a new one.

And now I have to shut up and go continue my date with Deanie. Relentless. Oh baby. Just how I like it.

Summer is finally here and seems to mean business. And now we're back to that old conundrum. Sunscreen. Have to have it. Have to slather it on my face. Have to protect my skin from wrinkles and cancer. Yet my eyes? My poor, poor eyes. They hate it when I put anything on my face (the number one reason I don't wear make-up). By the end of the day my eyes are burning and tired and it makes me cranky.

Maybe being a leathery old woman is preferred. I don't know.

We had a pretty nice day today. Our regular Monday playdate was moved to a pool, so we were both happy. I need more pool playdates. It seems like it would be harder than other playdates since there's the whole "prevent your kid from drowning" aspect of pool play, but I just slap the kid into a life jacket and off he goes.

I finally got smart and took a few toys for him to play with. He doesn't actually play with them. He just holds them and doesn't let the other kids play with them. Nice. But other kids always bring toys and do the same thing, so I guess toys to possess it is. Is that the right word? He doesn't want to put his soul into them and make them spin around. He just wants to own them. Or you know? He would probably love to put his soul into them and make them spin around. He's been having daily meltdowns because I won't use a magic wand to send him into the TV to play with Ruby.

If I had a magic wand, do you really think I'd let him play with Ruby of all rabbits? Why would a child want to play with that little brat? Max, yes, but Ruby?

I need to go to bed. Not only are my eyes tired from the sunscreen, my body is tired from BodyPump and my mind is tired from no sleep. I woke up around 3 am after a very vivid dream about someone breaking into the house. I never really got to sleep after that. It didn't help that dear Mr. E joined us around 3:30. I went to the guest bed, but it is too noisy in that room.

On a totally unrelated note, has anyone noticed that the TNT dramas are getting good stars lately? I guess the networks have given up on real shows. It's all reality, all the time. I hate reality TV. Except Project Runway, of course. Who doesn't love Tim Gunn?

I can even watch Raising the Bar now that they gave Zack Morris a decent haircut. I know, I know. I am way too obsessed with hair. Not that you'd know it by my hair, but if I was a guy I wouldn't have these problems. I'm sure I'd have a whole host of other problems.

I need bed.

We went to a pool party yesterday. Two hours before the party started I decided I would die if I didn't have some sort of bathing suit cover up. I've been going to lots of pools with friends since we don't have one in our own community and I've noticed that all the other moms wear cover ups and/or skirted suits. I have more of an athletic bathing suit, purchased back in the days when I did a lot of lap swimming and water aerobics. The needs of an athletic swimmer (why yes, I did just apply the word athletic to myself. Please try not too snicker too loudly) are much different from the needs of a mother hanging out at the pool.

After being totally thwarted by Kohl's (dudes! So bitter! Not a single plus sized cover-up, bathing suit or sun dress in the whole freakin' store!) and Dress Barn (apparently old ladies don't go swimming) I was desperate. I didn't want to run down the highway and try Fashion Bug. The countdown was on and my legs weren't getting any skinnier.

I had an epiphany.

Wal-Mart.

I hate Wal-Mart. Not for any of the reasons liberals give for hating Wal-Mart. I'm from an impoverished area. Wal-Mart is a life saver for many. I hate this particular Wal-Mart because it is dirty, crowded and full of rude employees and customers. However, Wal-Mart knows that fat people are people too and they are more than willing to sell them cheap, fall apart, sweat shop manufactured fat clothes.

I was so focused on hiding my chub rub thighs with boy shorts or a skirt that I forgot I have issues up top. All those ladies with cute halter top tankinis? Yeah. I guess they don't have boobs. I've somehow convinced myself that my boobs aren't that big. Possibly because I was topping out a J when my milk came in. I should have taken a picture. They were bigger than my head. Seriously. A DD doesn't even begin to compare. Or a D if I really push things and don't mind a little fleshy flotsam on top.

So I go back in the dressing room with six different suit/skirt/top combinations, determined that I am going to be modest and stylish at this party.

The first skirt worked well.

Then came the top.

Did I mention these halter top things are not meant for boob storage? I put it on and just started laughing my ass off. I suppose Mike could have worn it, but there was not even an indent for a boob like appendage. Not going to work.

Eventually I found a skirt/tankini combo with a built in bra band that could contain the girls. Not exactly my colors or style (brown with orange flowers), but anything was better than walking around the party with my fat thighs showing.

We got to the party and I was the only woman in a swim suit. I had a shirt on over the top, but was just wearing the bottoms as my bottoms. All the other ladies had on cute capris. They all giggled and said it was their husband's job to get in the pool with the kids.

Mike did a bit of pool duty, but he hates swimming and I love it so I ended up in the pool with Erik.

Guess what?

There's a reason no real swimmer would ever wear the get-up I was in. The skirt floated up to the top of the pool and the top? Well. Let's just say it was a good thing there was a bra band or I would have been topless. It was practically floating above my head!

I was very glad it was a slightly cool day and the only other people in the pool were three and/or my good friend's husband. He was oblivious to my dilemma.

Now that I've shared my bathing suit horror story of the summer, how about some pics of Erik from his first sleep over? I am still very sad that my new camera is so blurry. I tried to find a way to make it less blurry but I obviously don't have a clue what I'm doing. I think I may just gnash my teeth and go back to old fashioned Polaroids. Or not. But a girl can get angry and say things she doesn't mean, right?
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My baby! Where's my baby! It's so quiet here!

Erik had his first ever sleep over last night. I think 3 1/2 is a little young for that, but we are going to be taking care of his little friend Irish Lad towards the end of October while Welsh Lass is born. Dr. Saturn is planning a home birth and Irish lad will need to be out of the house, lest he jumps in the birthing pool and starts swimming while his mom is popping out a baby.

Dr. Saturn wants to make sure everything goes smoothly, so she suggested that we have a few practice overnighters when parents are all available to jump in the car at 2 am and rescue the boy if things go south. Hopefully the practice will lead to a smoooth birthing night/day/whatever.

She wanted to make sure it was fair to us, just not us having their son over multiple times, so Erik had his first taste of a sleepover last night.

We talked about it all day and he was excited, but at one point he told me "Mommy, I was just kidding. I'm not sleeping at Irish Lad's house." He quickly changed his tune when we arrived and informed us that he was staying there forever. The good Doctors didn't quite agree.

Anyway, we stayed through bedtime and Mike helped settle him down at one point. We thought for sure Irish Lad would be down first because he was exhausted, but Erik beat him by a few minutes. They were finally both asleep at 9:30, but we hung around until 10:30 watching Coupling and chatting.

*****

We just got back from picking Erik up at his sleep over. Apparently it went great. He was up in middle of the night, wanting my friend to sit with him but he didn't cry or anything. The only great drama we had was getting him home. He really meant the "forever" part of wanting to stay forever. Success! I can't believe my little baby was away from me all night. That's the first time he's ever been away. We don't have family near by so he has never had occasion to go on an all-nighter.

And now I have to go off to the dollar store to buy crap for a pool party this afternoon. I also have to figure out what to take as a side dish. It's so damn hot I don't want to turn my oven on, so this should be interesting.

So tired. Very, very tired. I went against my husband's direct orders and went to BodyPump today. Really, the option was kill myself at BodyPump or kill my child at home. The boy is driving me mad. Mad I tell you! Doesn't help that my period is due any second, though I don't know precisely which second since I haven't been charting this month. It's hard to chart when you have a fever. It's even harder to chart when your thermometer disappears. I only truly charted for one month, but it's amazing how addictive it is to know exactly what your hormones are doing. This month I'm lost in the dark again.

I went really easy at BP, but I was still shaking by the time I was done. During the cool down at the end I couldn't even lift my legs up to roll my ankles around and do all those stretches you are supposed to do. Maybe I should listen to my husband once in a while, eh?

This evening we went over to my friend's community pool for a little picnic and swimming. I am Grouch Monster of the World so it wasn't all that fun. I spent two hours yelling at Erik. I hate being a yell-y parent. It's not easy when he is a typical three year old and doesn't get the no running rule. He thinks it is hilarious to throw water at other people and steal toys from babies. Gah! His behavior has been driving me over the edge for the past three weeks.

I have gotten a lot tougher on the "eat real food before treats" bit. I always had the best of intentions. My kid wasn't going to eat sugar until the first grade! My baby was fed homemade organic baby food. My toddler ate every thing we ate, including lots of fresh fruits and veggies. His first sugar experience was his first birthday. His second sugar experience was. . . I don't even know. Quite possibly his second birthday.

As soon as he learned how to talk it was all down hill. I didn't have much capacity to say no. More like I didn't have much capacity to listen to whining. Mistakes were made. Lots of mistakes. Not only food mistakes. Sleep mistakes. Weaning mistakes. Lots and lots of mistakes. Live and learn, right?

But now I am hell bent to correct some of these food mistakes. I am holding firm. The boy is actually getting the message and eating his nuggets and pasta without too much of a fight. Of course, as soon as he's done he brings me the empty plate and says "Ice cream." I am also working on the one word commands from the little dictator. I'm making him say "Mommy, may I have some ice cream, please?" He generally gets "Mommy, ice cream please?" and that's good enough for now, but I am sick and tired of the one word commands. I have always corrected him, of course, but would be up and moving before the "please" was out of his mouth. Now I sit until I get something more polite from his mouth.

And with that I am going to bed! I ran out of sleeping pills last night, horrors! I am one tired mama today. I've been staying up late, watching the BBC version of Life on Mars that Mike got me for my birthday. I'm really enjoying it, but is sure is different from the US version. I think I'm glad I saw the US version first since it was the knock off. Personally, I liked the US version better, but that's because I don't like things that are too serious. The US version is much more fun and light hearted. The BBC version is very dark and serious. Good. But serious. And I am not a serious person. I'm pretty depressed because I know how it is going to end and it's going to make me cry. I'm glad the US version had a happy ending. I'm a sucker for happy endings.

I feel like I am rambling on and on and on and have no idea what I am saying. Another sign I should lock my fingers in a cupboard and get my butt in bed.

Did you miss me yesterday? I missed you! We had no cable, internet or phone service from 10:30 am till after I went to bed at 10:30 pm. It was a long, long day and we weren't even home for most of it.

Uhhhh. Why does Erik have a knitting needle? And why is he pointing it at me, telling me he is zapping my boobs. The kid is obsessed with boobs.

Anyway, how about a series of good and bad from the day?

The bad: I got stung by a bee! Yes, it was just a few weeks ago that I was stung by a bee. Apparently there isn't some kind of bee stinging immunity. We were at the park, walking through the grass, when a bee got under my little toe and stung me. Very, very painful.

However, it was no where near as painful as the previous bee sting experience. This one was about a 6 on a scale of 1-10. The other one was at least an 8. This sting stung for an hour. The other one stung at least four hours. This one had a big, ol' stinger that I had to pull out. The other one didn't. I just thought that stingers must be tiny and hard to see and so I scraped and scraped at the sting with my credit card, making sure it was out. Uhhhhh. Yeah. No way in HELL I would have missed the stinger. The one in my toe was unmistakable. So maybe I was stung by a yellow jacket or wasp or something earlier this summer. I don't know.

The good: My babysitter's mom lives right down the street from us, so our babysitter was driving by our place. We chatted for a minute and she told me there is a community swimming pool in our area that is really cheap and not dependent on HOA fees. Whoo-hooo! I'm going over there this afternoon and joining! I can't have a hot DC summer without a daily dip in the pool.

The bad: We were out almost all day yesterday and I stupidly forgot my sunscreen at home. I rationlized that Erik had never had a sunburn so he must not be as sensitive as I've always treated him. Uhhhh. Yeah. DUH! I've always had so much sunscreen on him that a sunburn didn't have a chance to form. No sunscreen=sunburn. It isn't that bad, but his neck is glowing red. So is my nose.

The good: A friend invited us over to her place for a dip in her pool, so we spent a couple of hours over there instead of sitting at home wishing we had cable and internet. I found the sunscreen and we were covered, though we were already a bit crispy.

The quilt is washed and dried and looks fabulous! Even though I've made several quilts, I always hold my breath until they come out of the dryer. I'm always convinced they are going to fall apart. I don't understand how I am capable of creating something by sewing it together. It seems like magic. I know it is just hard work, and lots of it, but still the magical quality is there. Probably because my grandma was my crafty influence early in life and she is the very definition of Negative Nellie.

Ok, I'll shut up and show the goods. These aren't great pictures, but they're what I have. I maybe try to take some outside tomorrow if the weather continues to be nice.



Very blurry--not loving my new camera yet.



Erik wanted his picture taken with his new quilt. I had to oblige. Also, he got his new Threadless.com t-shirt today and was one happy camper. I still don't get the humor, but it has made the boy extremely happy.




You can click on any of the pics to view a larger version if you are dying to see it more closely. Again, they are blurry and it pisses me off. My new camera was supposed to be sharp and crisp. That's what all the reviews said. I think I got a lemon.

In other news, I am feeling MUCH MUCH MUCH better! Today is the first day in weeks that I cooked a dinner that required more than three minutes of microwaving stuff. Ok, so Mike did a lot of it, but still! I can't believe how much better I feel. Maybe I can go to BodyPump on Thursday.

I was even the preschool teacher today and it didn't kill me. The kids had a great time measuring themselves in different ways and the moms were really happy with the little photo keepsake I made for them. I am such an over achiever. Next week is our last week of homeschool preschool for a month! We are off in July, then come back for four weeks in August. Then it is real preschool! I'll be throwing a huge preschool party the first day of school. Anyone free for celebratory cupcakes the Wednesday after Labor Day from 12-2:30?

Tags: quilt picture

I just put the last stitches in Erik's quilt! I've been working on that sucker for . . . oh. . . a year? Maybe? I have no idea, but it sat on the back burner forever because I couldn't get motivated. Now I just need to throw it in the wash to get out the chalk lines and then it will be picture time! I feel liberated! Without that project hanging over my head I can start other projects and do something fun and fluffy and girly.

In other news, I totally overwhelmed myself today and will probably pay the price tomorrow. I had to pick up a couple of things from Target. While there I had a fantastic idea for a Father's Day gift for Mike (shamelessly stolen from Reebert). We don't really celebrate those holidays, but Mike looked really sad yesterday and he's a fantastic father and husband so I decided I wanted to do something for him.

So then we had to go to Michael's to get the supplies make the magic happen.

And then we had to go to the grocery store so I could feed my family.

Whew! I was exhausted by the time we got home, but I still had a big project to complete.

I bought a four picture frame and took four pictures of Erik holding a different thing each time. I (heart) MY DADDY. Erik did ok with the first three, but he was d-o-n-e by the time we got to the last one and it took every single molecule of self-control I've ever owned to not beat the child senseless.



Click through to see the rest if you are really interested.

It turned out really cute, though the words are so small that it took Mike a while to figure out what the heck the pictures were supposed to be of. It mainly looks like a bunch of greenery. I was trying to get him to stand by the petunias, but he preferred the bell peppers. I guess it could be worse.

My computer wouldn't cooperate and I was getting really frustrated, but eventually everything all worked out.

Then we went on a swim play date.

See? Told you I wore myself out. What was I thinking?

The good news is Mike didn't ride the metro to work. He never rides the metro to work. If you are a news watching person, you have probably seen the images of the two metro trains on top of each other. My heart goes out to the families of everyone involved. People are just minding their own business, trying to get home after a long day at work or a long day of site seeing and BAM! That happens. How horrible.

And with that, I am going to bed. I did do one good thing today. I was talking to my mom about our flight out there and mentioned that I wanted to get economy plus seats for the trip home since it is a red eye and I don't want someone leaning in my lap the whole flight. She said she'd pay for the upgrade, so Erik and I are going to have a much more comfortable flight home. Whoo-hoo! When I used to travel with him as a lap infant I'd always get the upgrade (sometimes I'd buy it, a lot of times they would just offer it). It was well worth the money, but it is harder to justify when it is twice the cost on top of an already hefty ticket.

We had one heck of a weird day yesterday. It started with a downpour, which meant we weren't motivated to leave the house. Saturday is always our eating out day, so we were flummoxed. What to do, what to do? Get soaked and eat good food or stay home and starve?

The rain slowed down, so we hit the road. We haven't been doing our typical Saturday Indian food anymore because they started charging us $8 for Erik. It is fair that they charge us for his food, but that's excessive. He drinks a tea cup of mango lassi and eats maybe two chunks of chicken if he's having a really hungry day. We've decided to branch out and go to places where he can just eat off our plates.

There's a really cute little retail district not too far down the road from us that has a man made lake, a movie theatre, lots of restaurants and a playground. We went down there, ready for some good old fashioned American food like ribs and chicken. Except I got tortilla soup and Mike got grilled salmon salad. Anyway, we were there sitting in our booth, looking out the window at the tiny man-made lake when we noticed a girl in a bikini getting her picture taken.

My first thought was "whoa. Who does senior pictures in a bikini in the rain?" It soon became apparent that these were not senior portraits. No way, no how.

Within minutes, every male in the place (except Mike) was pressed up against the window, tongues wagging. The male staff all went outside and stood as close to the edge of the lake as possible to get a better view. Erik was pissed because they were in his way and he couldn't see "that girl." The guy in the booth behind us was convinced they were doing a Maxim shoot. I don't know anything about Maxim, but the girl did have a bikini on. She wasn't totally nude. I'd think that a professional shoot would have lights and stuff like that around. This was just the girl and the photographer. I don't know what it was all about, but it was strange.

As we were sitting there, we realized that it was going to be a long, boring, rainy day unless we could come up with a plan. We also realized that we were right next to a movie theatre and they might have a children's movie playing. We don't pay much attention to things like movies, but a plan was formed and we decided it was the perfect day for Erik's first movie theatre experience.

We went over and checked. They were playing Up in 3-D if we were willing to wait 45 minutes. I've heard mixed reviews of the movie for a 3 1/2 year old. I've heard it's perfect for the age, I've heard it is too scary. By this time Mike had told Erik we were going to see a movie so there was no way to back out of it.

Since I'm still weak, I sat on a bench and people watched while Erik and Mike wandered around, killing time until the movie.

That's when I saw the giant, huge, old, (and did I mention giant?) man in a kilt. I guess it wasn't remarkable, except that I've never seen a person in a kilt just walking around on a Saturday afternoon. Also, he should have invested in some serious undergarments. It was kind of scary.

And finally it was time for the movie! Erik was so "becited" that he could hardly stand it. He wore his 3D glasses the entire time and kept leaning over to tell me things. He sat on my lap for a few minutes, but found that he preferred his seat (complete with a booster. I had no idea they had booster seats at the theatre).

Overall, it was probably not appropriate for a 3 1/2 year old. There were some seriously scary dogs that Erik didn't like, though he didn't cry or scream or anything like that. There were also a few sagging parts with dialogue that he found boring. I'm not sure how well he followed the plot, but he did like the talking dog and colorful bird. Now he wants our house to fly.

I need to find his baby book so I can mark the occasion of his first movie theatre experience. I am so glad he didn't totally freak out and cry. Thus far, Cars is the only movie he refuses to watch because it is too scary. His little buddy that we hang out with all the time is the same way. When we were visiting a friend on Friday she put Cars on for the three boys and Erik and his little buddy freaked out and buried their heads in their hands. Yet they both want the action figures and character clothing. Go figure.

I didn't even bother to write an entry last night because it would be the exact same entry as the past few nights and this entry. I'm so freaking tired. How does pneumonia make a person so tired for so long? I should never have been out and about on Wednesday. It totally zapped every last bit of energy.

I've been thinking I just need to get over this and get my butt to the gym on Monday. Then I tried to vacuum my living room and kitchen. I was so dizzy and tired that I thought I was going to paint. I do not have a large kitchen or living room. I was probably working for less than five minutes. I have a feeling Monday at the gym isn't going to happen. Mike has ordered me to stay out of the gym until I get back from Oregon and I'm afraid he's right. I am so tired of this!

A friend took Erik for a few hours and I was very grateful. On the way home we stopped at the store for bananas and ice cream. Stupid mistake. I knew the sky was dark. I knew the clouds were roiling. I knew it was going to rain. Yet I had to have my damned Breyers vanilla ice cream.

When we came out it was raining harder than I think I've ever seen it rain in my life. I told Erik we had to run because it was raining cats and dogs, then we took off. He lost his shoe in the parking lot, then my impulse bouquet of flowers fell on the ground and Erik was stomping on them, all while hysterically crying and screaming "Go away dogs! Go away cats!" I was probably in the rain for less than 45 seconds. I was soaked. Even my bra and underwear were soaked! It was insane.

That was my big day.

Today was not as wet. I went over to a friend's house to help plan a MOMS club event. We ended up hanging out for three hours. Erik was so glad to be with kids and I was so glad to have some adults to talk to. The lady lives in an older neighborhood built back in the days when a house came with a huge yard. I am so envious of backyard play space. I'm not so envious of backyard chores.

Erik was in fine form this afternoon. He can be such a mouthy jerk some times. Argh! I hate to say that about my dear, sweet boy but I'm getting sick of the attitude. Thankfully I had him signed up for a Kids' Night Out thing so we dropped him off and went out to dinner. When he got home he was ok until bedtime, then the mouth started up again. He informed us he was going to stay up all night, so we turned the TV to the Colbert Report and told him we could only watch Mom and Dad shows. I don't think he's ever seen a Mom and Dad show and was confused that there was something other than a cartoon on the television. Didn't make getting him into bed any easier, but it was worth a shot.

All this sitting around has made me crazy, which has led to me buying things on the internet. Today I got my new Fons and Porter magazine and they had an ad for that robot quilt kit I posted about earlier. I am not a kit quilter, but I had that bad boy purchased within 20 minutes of seeing the ad.

I also got a couple of Threadless t-shirts for Erik. I wanted to get him THIS ONE because I think it's hilarious, but I showed it to him and he hated it. I wish they had plus sized women's shirts so I didn't have to live vicariously through Mike and Erik. He saw THIS ONE on the home page and had to have it. He keeps talking about the banana falling down so I finally ordered it even though I think it is kind of dumb. Kids have a weird sense of humor.

I only have 1 1/2 sides of binding to hand sew on Erik's quilt. I swore I wouldn't do any more quilting until I finish it, so I better get to it if I want to have fun with the stuff I've been ordering. I swear I am never going to hand sew the binding again. I've been machine sewing to the back, flipping over and then machine sewing to the front and letting the back get an ugly seam. I decided I wanted this quilt to be perfect so am doing the binding the "proper" way. Ugh. Never again. No one cares about the binding seam on back but me and the quilt police. It is doubtful that I will ever enter a quilt in a competition so why worry about the quilt police?

I'm supposed to be resting, but we've been cooped up long enough. I made plans to go to our MOMS Club craft day, thinking it would be nice to go and sit with other moms while Erik messed about with other kids. The leader of the craft day doesn't read e-mails much and didn't realize I was sick. She's been dealing with a death in the family and couldn't make it so suddenly I found myself in possession of the craft and instructions on how to access the community room we use. Ummmm. What?

I have no idea how it happened.

We were supposed to be making puppets out of paper bags so I just sort of threw everything on the table and told the moms to go for it. I'm not crafty. I can quilt, but the pretty is built in to that. You can't go wrong when you are working with pretty fabrics.

In the end it turned out ok, except one lady was the eyeball nazi. We had a huge bag of googly eyes. HUGE! Erik spilled a bunch of them, then used about 20 of them on his project. She was freaking out about the number of eyes he was using, but I just couldn't get worked up. The bag must have had 500 eyes in it. No one was going to be without eyes because he was obsessed. No one was limited in the amount of pom-poms, glitter, glue, crayons or construction paper they could use. Why should he be limited in the amount of googly eyes he could use just because most puppets only have two eyes? Maybe he was making a spider? Sure, if he was hogging them I would have stopped him, but to limit art just because it doesn't fit preconceieved notions? I don't think so. He's three. His puppet can have fifteen eyes.

Then I made a mistake.

I decided that after lunch we could go to the open gym at this preschool gym thing down the street. Erik loved it, of course, but it wore me out. It lasted two hours. I needed to leave early but they always end the session with bubble dancing and there was no way I was going to get Erik out of there before bubble dancing happened. I spent the last fifteen minutes sitting on the floor trying not to cry. I hate crying. I was exhausted and upset that two hours of standing around doing nothing could exhaust me so badly.

On the up side, Erik was in his element. The kid was smiling! He's been so cranky the last few days that I haven't seen a lot of his smiles so it warmed the cockles of my heart to see him so happy. I also made a concerted effort to get him to eat more today and that helped. I don't know if he ate more just because he was hungry or because of something I did, but having food in his belly sure improved his mood.

The bad thing is I've barely eaten anything today. I have a horrible taste in my mouth that won't go away. I'm almost 100% sure it is caused by the antibiotics. Ugh. Maybe I'll keep losing weight. I've finally discovered the secret. Don't eat! I mean, I know that's the secret to weight loss but I choose to be fat and enjoy my food. Not having an appetite is nice in many ways. I wish I knew how to make it permanent.

I finally ordered birthday presents for my sister's lot. The baby is getting a wooden pull-along puppy from The Greater Good network. I don't know if he'll like it, but the purchase funds 50 cups of food so at least I can feel good about giving it. I wish they had things for the older kids, but there wasn't much I could find. My mom says Braxton is obsessed with super heros so I went to a Halloween store and got a clearance priced Power Rangers outfit. He's going to flip out when he sees it. He always wants to dress up, but my sister isn't too interested in buying him fun dress up clothes since she doesn't want him to dress like a princess. I got Laynee a set of magnetic wooden "paper" dolls. She'll probably lose them all in five minutes, but I would have loved to have a set when I was a kid so that's what she's getting. Plus,the price was right. I thought about getting her a dress up costume too, but she already has a million princessey things and my sister would freak if I got her anything boyish. I'm so glad to have that off my mind. Now I have to start thinking of Christmas gifts. I have a personalized super hero cloak for Rowan. I'm seriously considering making I-spy quilts for the two older kids. I'll actually have time to sew once preschool starts.

Ah well. I guess I should go to sleep and stop trying to plan Christmas presents in June.

I swear I'm going to the gym tomorrow. I don't care if I just have to go sit in the locker room with a book. There is no way I can handle another full day with Erik. Isn't that awful? How do moms do this without a little support from the gym daycare?

It has been a loooooong day. We went to preschool this moring and that was fine, but exhuasting. We got home and Erik was just a cranky pants all afternoon. He wouldn't eat, which is a huge part of the problem. I was about ready to hold him down and shove chicken nuggets down his throat. I am a firm believer that kids shouldn't be forced to eat. I believe they should be provided healthy (errrr. . . yeah. . . nuggets and mac and cheese no qualifies as healthy in my delusion) food and can eat at will. I have had such a struggle with food and weight that I've gone the opposite direction of my family. We are far, far from perfect. He eats way to much junk. But I still don't force the food. I think I need to start. The crankiness makes me cranky, which makes him cranky, which makes me crankier until we're mad and yelling at each other all afternoon. Whoo-hooo!

If he could just not crawl on top of me, things would be a lot better. His favorite position is draped over my shoulders while I sit on the couch. Often, totally naked. By the time Mike got home today I was just about in tears. When he told me he has a staff meeting until 5:30 or later tomorrow I really did start crying. He thinks he can get out of it. I hope he can.

We are both used to being so busy that this sitting around watching TV doesn't cut it.

I've even succumbed to the allure of Ebay since I've just been sitting here all day. My friend is having a baby girl, so I was looking around at different fabics and found a really cute set of fabric squares. I was able to get one at the base price with no opposing bids, but really needed a second set to have enough for a baby quilt. Someone else found the second set, so we had a little bidding war. I ended up paying more for it than I would have normally ever considered, but I figured with the cheaper price of the other set it all works out in the end.

Now I just need to find time to make a baby quilt before October!

I also want to make this quilt HERE except it is a little dark. I love the combo of the turquoise and reddish color, but am not so sure about the rest of it.

I guess I better quit blathering on here and get to bed. Sleep is much needed around here.

First: The Ugly

Don't you hate when you go upstairs and smell something really gross? Then you look in the sink and see a giant turd just laying there?

It's never happened to me before and I certainly hope it never happens to me again. I thought I was going to barf. I don't know what Erik was thinking, but I believe he knows he should never, ever, ever do that again.

Aren't you glad I share everything with you?

We finally got out of the house a little bit today. I took Erik to the park, but he was a grump and none of the kids would play with him. We stumbled on what must have been a special ed preschool class picnic. Erik tried to make friends at first, but I think most of the kids had some very serious issues and had no idea how to socialize. I may bitch and moan a lot about little things, but I have nothing to complain about. Nothing. I am so thankful Erik is a happy, healthy, neurotypical boy. My life is a cake walk compared to the lives of many.

That totally exhausted me and my bad lung, but we had a playdate set for our friend's house so off we went. That wasn't too bad because I was just able to sit on the couch and be pathetic. She's one of my preschool friends so decided to check our spreadsheet and see if she was supposed to bring lunch tomorrow.

Nope.

I'm on lunch duty. I traded lunch duty with a friend a couple of weeks ago, but she is out of town so I guess that makes me responsible.

We've been trying to use up stuff in the freezer and we had a bunch of premade lasagna mix and pizza sauce, so I people get to eat lasagana tomorrow even if it is super hot. I hate cooking casseroles in the heat, but I hate spending a lot of money and energy even more. I'm also baking a loaf of sour dough, but I do that in the bread machine so it doesn't take a whole lot of effort.

Here's hoping tomorrow doesn't see me laying in a puddle of exhaustion. I have a "you stay, mommy goes" playdate arranged for Erik on Thursday, so there's some hope that I might be able to rest a little bit one of these days.

You know, antibiotics can be so gross even though they do very good things and are one of the most important scientific discoveries ever. I've been feeling plenty gross, but I also have some good news! My face is totally clear. Clear, like a super model! Granted, I have bags the size of melons under my eyes, but no zits. I don't know if it is the antibiotics or the fact that I don't have enough energy to stand at the mirror and pick at things. Maybe a combo of both? I could get used to having clear skin. Not that there's anyone who cares, but I care and that's enough.

I could hope Mike would care, but Mike was distracted by my giant witch mole hair. I was trying to eat dinner (much more difficult than it sounds thanks to the nasty taste the antibiotics leave in my mouth), but was causing such a distraction that Mike had to go find a pair of tweezers and pull the hair out of the mole while I was trying to choke down my smothered burrito.

Nothing feels sexy like having your husband pluck out a big mole hair. I might as well start wearing a mumu with fuzzy house slippers.